I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
