If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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