my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
