i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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