"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
