I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
