FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
