have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize