How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
