Sry I called you an 8
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize