Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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