She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
