I must be too annoying 4 u.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
