she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
