The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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