apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
