You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
