is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
