If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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