Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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