sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
