I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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