Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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