i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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