I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize