It's Friday. Sex?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
