let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i will never coherently bang her
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
