I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i dont even know how to be here
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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