Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
