No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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