He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize