just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
