i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
