i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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