There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
