Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
