I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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