try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
