Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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