omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
