Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
you never un-have a 4some
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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