Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize