oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
