I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
