"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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