Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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