There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
