Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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