So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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