SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's always time for handjobs
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
