i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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