I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize