the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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