dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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