You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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