Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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