Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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