I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
