Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So many bounce houses so little time
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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