PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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