There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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