she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
