is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He shit in the fireplace
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
