Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
