White coat. Heels.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
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