just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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