I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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