it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
