508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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