So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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