He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
