I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
